A good way to talk to your child about making friends is to ask if she could design her very own personal best friend, what would that person be like?  If your child has trouble starting, ask the questions: “What is a good friend like?”  “Is he honest?”  “Does he spend time with you?”  Keep the ball rolling while writing these characteristics down.  Now say to the child, “What do you bring to friendship?”  “Wouldn’t you be a good friend if you showed these qualities too? “ Emphasize to your child, she can learn and use these qualities in her daily life.  It may be practical to discuss each quality fully.

Children can be taught friends want them to have these qualities:

• kind
• supportive
• honest
• morally true
• trusting
• compassionate
• understanding
• considerate

You and your child can look up and define each word in “dictionary language” and then define them in your own words. This helps the meanings start to sink in.  Have your child talk about ways they have seen others use or misuse each quality.  Role play geared toward showing how others feel when we are not honest, sincere, trusting, etc. can be effectively used to drive the point home also.  Role play allows your child to put herself in another’s shoes.

Need help addressing your child/teen’s needs?  Call 817.421.8780 to learn about our research-proven counseling techniques.

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Excerpt from Social Skills for LD Kids (c) 1995, Monte W. Davenport

(c) 2009-2012, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.