Practice these steps to help your child develop active listening:

Paraphrasing

Parents can demonstrate this skill to their child.  Teachers can teach this skill with two students.  Have one person tell about his or her day, then have another person state in their own words what they think the speaker just said.  The speaker then decides if the listener really understood.  The speaker makes corrections and the listener amends what he or she paraphrased.  Explain to the child that thinking about what others are saying and then paraphrasing what is said is needed for good communication.  It keeps one busy trying to understand what the person is saying rather than distractions blocking out the message.

Clarifying

This goes along with paraphrasing.  Show your child how to ask questions until he gets more of the picture.  Tell him that he may often have to ask questions to get more of an idea what the speaker is     talking about.  Role play with you as the speaker.  Give vague information           about a specific topic — an upcoming vacation might be something she would be interested in.  Next, ask your child for good questions that will help clarify the specifics about the vacation.

Giving Feedback

Explain that feedback involves one’s reactions to what the other person has said.  In a non-judgmental way, children can share what they thought, felt, or sensed about what was said.  Rules of immediate, honest, and supportive feedback should be taught.  Teach your child Immediate means as soon as you fully understand.  Honest means your real reaction.  Supportive means being gentle — saying what you mean without causing damage or defensiveness.  Children need to understand that even when the reaction is negative it can be supportive.  They need to be taught that it is better to say, “I think you may have made a mistake” than, “That was a stupid thing to do”.

Active listening involves many other aspects and each can be discussed and practiced.

•        Maintain good eye contact.

•        Lean slightly forward.

•        Reinforce the speaker by nodding or paraphrasing.

•        Actively move away from distractions.

•        Commit to understanding what the other person is saying.

Remember…Practice makes perfect!

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Excerpt from Social Skills for LD Kids (c) 1995, Monte W. Davenport

(c) 2009-2012, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.