“Self-talk” is what a child or teen thinks to himself when he is faced with something difficult. A child with learning or attention problems often experiences negative self-talk about challenging tasks at school:
“I’m stupid.”
“I’m a bad kid because I do and say things without thinking.”
“I’ll never get it!”
The GOOD NEWS is parents and teachers can change a child’s negative self-talk.
First, identify the ABCs
Adversity
- Beliefs
- Consequences.
Adversities (problems) abound in the home of a child or teen who struggles. Parents of children with attention and learning problems often hear statements like this:
“My teacher, Mrs. Bailey, scolded me in front of the whole class because I didn’t do my homework right, and everybody laughed.”
Beliefs about the adversity often includes negative self-talk:
“She hates me and now the whole class thinks I’m stupid…I guess they’re right.”
Consequences are the feelings that result from negative beliefs and self-talk:
“I feel really sad, and I wished I could just disappear under my desk.”
By helping him identify the ABC’s of his thoughts, you affirm your child’s feelings. Once you have shown your child you understand, then you can help him change his beliefs about his abilities by helping him identify D and E as described in the next post.
Need help addressing your child/teen’s needs? Call 817.421.8780 to learn about our research-proven counseling techniques.
Excerpt from LD Kids Can! ©1993, Monte Davenport
(c) 2009- 2012, Monte W. Davenport, Ph.D.
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