For some children with attention difficulties, their challenges not only include distractibility, inconsistent self-monitoring, and variable mental effort: they also suffer from a handicap that isolates them from other children. Boys and girls with social skills weaknesses seem immature and seem to lack good judgment at times. They may less sensitive to the needs of others. As a result, some children with attention challenges are rejected by their peers, and their social relationships seem “out of synch.”
Because children with attention problems physically look so much like every one else, it is hard to remember about their academic and social difficulties. Relatives and other adults often assume children can leave their attention difficulties in the classroom and get along with others after school, but in many instances, they cannot. It is hard to realize how many social interactions a child may go through each day.
Social difficulties can become far more anxiety provoking for a struggling child than problems with reading or math. A child can carry a calculator to help with arithmetic and a computer can help with spelling and writing, but there is no mechanical or computerized invention that can take her successfully through a classmate’s birthday party or any other social situation. At times, she may be much more worried about being left out of activities with friends on Friday night than failing a spelling test on Friday morning.
The goal of future posts is to suggest ways parents and teachers can help children with attention difficulties improve their skills in four different social areas:
- Starting up relationships
- Keeping up relationships
- Manners Matter
- Speaking and Understanding Social Language
- Understanding the Effects of Mood and Behavior
(c) 1995-2009, monte w. davenport, ph.d.
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