Flexibly structured discipline emphasizes your child or teen’s strengths while calmly and firmly addressing her need for self control. For example, your child’s “strong will” can easily be reframed as the strength determination, and you can use your child’s determination to improve her self-discipline. Parents quickly realize that the discipline strategies that work for other […]
Applying Flexiture: Clean Your Room!
I often hear, “My child struggles to clean up her room without getting distracted.” Here are some thoughts. First, understand that the simple statement “clean up your room” involves not so simple multiple multiple-steps and can be overwhelming to a child with attention challenges: it is like trying to eat an uncut extra-large supreme pizza: […]
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You’re Grounded!
Just like time-out, grounding tends to get a bad-rap. This is because many parents misuse it. Mom says, “You’re grounded for a week!” until she cools off and remembers some important event Billy Earl is already scheduled to attend, lets him go, and undermines her own authority. “You’re grounded!” means Lilly Pearl stays in the […]
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Time Out!
Time out gets a “bad rap” largely because it is misused for every form of disobedience under the sun. Here, time out is designed to be only one part of the process previously described in economics 101 and 201 and should not be “over-used.” Here’s the rule of thumb: If your child is throwing a temper-tantrum and needs to […]
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ECONOMICS 201: Six Steps to Reducing Unacceptable Behavior!
This procedure should be undertaken only AFTER your child has successfully built up a sizable bank of tickets using ECONOMICS 101 outlined in the previous post. First, make a short list of unacceptable behaviors your child often gets in trouble for. Not completing chores, responsibilities Lying Arguing Swearing Violations of Household Rules Next, decide how much […]
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ECONOMICS 101: EIGHT STEPS TO BETTER BEHAVIOR
For some children and tweens, natural and logical consequences are not sufficient motivators for them to do chores, follow rules, and obey commands. They typically need an immediate tangible reinforcement in order to follow through to successfully complete assigned tasks. 1. Buy a roll of movie tickets at Walmart or Target. 2. Make a list of […]
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Help! All These Discipline Techniques are Draining My Energy! What Works?
So many people have so many different ideas about disciplining the child and teen with ADD/ADHD! Over the years, the suggestions have included lessons in moral self-control to cute statements like, “Oh no, your behavior is draining my energy!” For over 30 years, researchers have seen that children with ADD/ADHD who are struggling with behavior […]
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Using a Behavior Chart
This behavior chart can be used to encourage your child to change and develop all kinds of behaviors. Here are some suggestions on how to use this tool: Involve your child in decisions about the target behaviors and the rewards to be earned: this will help her take ownership of the process. Sit down with […]
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Six Tips for Dealing with Changes in Routine
Change is hard! Because they thrive on routine, many children with attention difficulties struggle to cope with changes in their daily routines. Resulting behaviors can vary from thunderous silence to a screaming-banshee temper-tantrum. If your child struggles with changes in her routine, try these five suggestions: (1) Keep her daily schedule visible and up-to-date so she […]
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A Step-wise Approach to Using Natural and Logical Consequences
Families often ask, “So, how do natural and logical consequences work in real-time?” Here’s a step-by-step example: 1. Consequences are proposed. When you have finished mowing the lawn, then you may go swimming. (Make sure swimming is something the teenager wants to do.) 2. You accept the child’s decision, follow through with consequences, and give […]
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Punishment vs. Natural and Logical Consequences
Families often ask, “What’s the difference between punishment and discipline using natural and logical consequences.” A few examples follow. Punishment expresses the parent’s authority. Logical consequences express choice. Example: TV blaring early Saturday. Punishment: Turn off the TV right now or you’re grounded from TV! Logical: Allison, I realize you enjoy watching TV early on […]
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Principles for Using Natural and Logical Consequences
I wish I could take credit for inventing natural and logical consequences. This parenting tool has been around a lot longer than I have, but I have seen its miraculous impact on families. Here are some key principles for making it work for you. Set your child up for success. Before using natural and logical […]
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Flexiture* for Student Success! 
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